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It’s been a while since I’ve shared. I told myself I would share IN my struggle instead of AFTER so there’s been a pressure to write but lately nothing has been there. Truthfully, I have not been in the best of headspaces these last six weeks. Pretty foggy actually, and I know some of it has to do with the demand to keep waiting. I’ve been waiting for reconstruction surgery (scheduled for this Wed.), waiting for the state board to allow me to counsel (estimated mid-Jan 2023), and waiting on the adjustment to new medications. It has been a weird season for sure. While I don’t know how to “fix” my headspace, I do know I need to “remember my rainbow” and “pick up my mat” (two eye-opening lessons the Lord revealed this past year).

TO REMEMBER MY RAINBOW means to remember that no matter what is going on, know that I know my God sees me and is right here IN IT with me. To remember how God showed up in such a tangible way to usher me through a cancer diagnosis. To remember all the good he has done in my life’s past and to remember the limitless good he has done since mankind was created. Why would He stop now?

TO PICK UP MY MAT means to do what I can in the struggle and to trust God for the rest. (John 5:6,8). We cannot “fix” ourselves, but we can prayerfully do something as steps of faith to becoming well. That something looks different for everyone every time.

Here are some of my recent and vulnerable “Pick up my Mat” examples:

- I have felt like isolating (in an unhealthy way), so to pick up my mat means to make plans with other people.

- I have felt disconnected from God, not even wanting to pray, so to pick up my mat means to schedule a daily time to sit with Him, read a bible scripture, and journal a prayer.

- I have not felt like myself, so to pick up my mat means to look at my habits holistically and aim to do what I know I need to do to keep myself in a healthy place (diet, exercise, sleep, staying social, therapy, thinking on good things, etc).

- I have been inward-focused, so to pick up my mat is to confess this and ask for God’s help to turn upward and then outward.

Do you want to be well?

What good do you need to remember today?

How is God asking you to pick up your mat?


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