Is it me, or is there no way around "Mommy Guilt"?
The MOM WHO WORKS out of the home or goes back to school (whether out of a need or want) feels guilty for NOT
being home and keeping it in “perfect” order
being more involved in her kids lives
getting done all that she feels is expected of her
I’m sure I’ve left out a few…
The STAY AT HOME MOM feels guilty for NOT
keeping her home and all other things expected of her in “perfect” order
having the perfect child(ren) because she has “time” with them
having her child more active in activities and sports due to finances
being able to contribute to the family finances
and belive it or not, for not feeling she gets “good” time with her little ones
It doesnt matter what end of the spectrum you are on, Satan knows how to get to all of us – attacking our ability, decisions and adequacy as a mother.
… And boy has he been getting me in the adequacy department. Seriously, the lies are a daily struggle these days. I don’t feel like a good mom. I just don’t seem to have the time I need to get IT all done. I don’t feel like I have them “under control” and am able to teach them all the things that I need to. And, I’m ashamed to admit how often I lose my cool with them… Where is my “happy heart”!?!?
We have to stop and recognize where the guilt and lies are coming from AND that it will always be there UNLESS we change our perspective. This guilt is only a feeling… it is not truth. It’s up to us whether we will take that guilt and condemnation on or CHOOSE to take it captive and replace it with the truth. (2 Corinthians 10:5)
What is the truth that I CHOOSE to cling to?
When I feel guilt, condemnation or inadequacy as a parent, I will immediately replace it with a complete dependence on God, the ONLY perfect parent. (Psalm 138:8; Proverbs 3:5-6)
When I mess up or am wrong, I will humbly ask forgiveness from my savior, as well as my children. (2 Chronicles 7:14)
I cannot fix or control my kids – this was never my job and only leads to pride, worry and more feelings of inadequacy. I will surrender my abilities AND my children to God …and leave it all in His more than capable hands. (Matthew 19:26)
I will “train up” my children according to the word and not my own agenda (Proverbs 22:6; Dueteronomy 6:4-9; Romans 12:2)
There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. If I hear the “not good enough” lie trying to get into my head. I will take it captive. I am a good enough mom IN Christ. (Romans 8:1; 2 Corinthians 5:21)
I will pray God’s protection for my children (not from circumstances, but instead from lies that Satan will try to fill thier minds with). When I mess up, I will repent and ask God to work in my weakness (Phillipians 4:6-7; 2 Corinthians 12:9). And, I will trust that my sins and my children’s are covered because love covers a mulititude of sins (1 Peter 4:8; Romans 8:1).
BOTTOM LINE – My kids are for GOD’S GLORY and NOT MINE.
So I will stand by my newfound motto since becoming a mom … “there is no judgement in motherhood.” I believe we are all doing the best we can with what we have. I just pray we all know what we have – The perfect helper and sustainer to lean on. (Psalm 54:4; Hebrews 4:16)